I don't know what you think of this country
But I know what it thinks about you.
It took half a bottle and a miserable decade
Just to bring this message to you - it's true.
The leaves were falling from the trees in the park,
The little dog looked up and saw that he was quite alone.
The little dog looked up, thought perhaps he could improve himself.
The little dog considered, thought perhaps he'd get a linguaphone.

Chorus:

Do you need a New Invention? Are you in the right dimension?
There's something I should mention now....

Gerald has been in my wardrobe, and Richard is going insane.
'Coz he's seen 3 worlds and he's lived 9 lives,
now he's back at home again.

I don't know what you think of this country,
But i think that it's going to be bad.
Happy shopper ecstasy, bingo with Jesus,
The hit man and her - Christ! I feel as though I'm going mad.
Grace and hailstorms, trains and brainstorms,
All-night bus rides, brand new life forms,
Ancient Rome in your very own home,
Sex on the phone - I can't see for the pheromones.
And Gerald has been in my wardrobe, and Richard is going insane;
And we're all going to hell in a chrome wheelbarrow..
Somebody please explain...

I don't know if they think in this country.
I've been looking but I've never found proof.
They tell me they know what they're doing down here,
But they should see what's living up on my roof.

Chorus

Hey! Look at that!
Gerald has been in my wardrobe, and Richard here is going insane.
'Coz he's just like me in one important way,
And now he's back at home again.
Now listen - all of these things that you want so very badly
Are the things that I'd let you have now and GLADLY:
Mothers with ansaphones, bloodlust and pheromones -
This is an island, this is the twilight zone,
It'll take more than a New Invention.
Like it or now we're in this dimension.
History's made when there's this much tension,
Won't you get on it now, show me your intention?
The little dog looked up and saw that he was quite alone.
The little dog looked up and saw that he was really quite alone.