I'm going mad. I believe every word I say.
I believe I'm going mad, but I know we've got to keep him away.
Now, he could be in your garden when the lights go out,
Get your head down, I guess you never worry about the burglar
The burglar of love.

sample: [He is a very sick and dangerous man.]

He's feeling evil. Oh, he's feeling mean and evil today.
Yes, I believe he's feeling evil, so you'd best try to keep him away.
'Coz he could get in your house and you wouldn't even see--
That's the way the money goes when the trade is burglary
But he's the burglar,
Burglar of love.

Burglary and the J.B.C. - It's an odds-on racing certainty,
'Coz the man who leads your gear astray
Nine out of ten times gets away.
In his burglar suit he might look a clown,
But the forces of law and order are beat hands down.
Lookie there! Where? Look at the state of that!
Follow that man in the burglar hat!

Burglar of love (x8)

I'm feeling scared. Yes, it's seriously scarey today.
Yes, I believe I'm feeling scared. He could be in your house today.
You don't have to invite him. You're not even in.
He's all alone in your front room and he's going through your things.
And he's the burglar,
Yeah, the burglar of love.

Yeah, he's your burglar,
Your burglar of love.

[Variations, babbling, and sample ad infinitum]

What's up, Doc?