Red pets - they get me so excited
They make me want to go to sea
They make me jump and shout and holler
They're really getting to me
Everyone says they lift weights
Except for me, I think they're great
Red pets, ah red pets

Red pets - I don't mean Guccione, and I don't mean Hugh
I want to go to Moscow, tell you what I'm going to do
Olga Korbut drives me mad, I'll buy some vodka for her dad
Red pets...grrrr, red pets

Red pets - Martina Navratilova, and Mrs. Gorbachev as well
Don't give up all of their secrets
They've got some stories to tell
Everyone says keep in touch, I don't think that they care that much
Red pets, red pets

Oh, everyone says keep in touch
I don't think that they care too much
Red pets, red pets

Red pets - Svetlana Peters, she's not defective at all

Stalin's daughter

I wanna go to Leningrad, and I'm gonna have a ball
Could turn the house into a wardrobe, could drive the vicar astray
Could make me join the Navy, I think they've got a lot to say

But everyone says keep in touch,
I don't think that they care too much
Everyone says they lift weights
Except for me, I think they're great
Everyone says keep in touch
I know they just don't care that much
Disconnect the party line
I think we're going to need some time
Red pets, grrr, red pets
Red pets, red pets