Well I wish I'd born in a bar
I wouldn't have to walk so bloody far
I'd peel back my cranium, put my brain in a jar
If only I'd been born in a bar

And I wish I'd been born on the beach
With everything I wanted in my reach
I'd date the richest women and suck 'em like a leach
If only I'd been born on a beach

And I wish I'd been born in the woods
And I don't want to be misunderstood
I'd rail out all humanity and give it up for good
If only I'd been born in the woods

And I wish I'd been born up a tree
Walking on the ground just not for me
I'd build a little shelter, get my foilage for free
If only I'd been born up a tree

And I wish that I'd been born in Selangore
I wish I'd been a tiger even more
If I ever got in trouble I would only have to roar
So I'd been born in Selangore

And I wish I'd been born down the drain
'Tis where I've ended up, all the same
Talk to the spiders, that comes out in the rain
If I'd been born down the drain ...

Or in a bar.