It would get us started
It would help us all a lot
If you'd understand there's a conspiracy in pop
They work world-wide and they're on TV
The Jazz B-b-b-butcher Conspiracy
From Oslo to Rome
New York to Berlin
When the Conspiracy knocks somebody always lets us in
Armed and loaded with philosophy
To consider the big ones seriously
In the world of science there's something going on
It's the egg-potato phenomenon
So if you don't know the ratio potato to egg
You'd better shape up now, somebody's pulling your leg

Oh no!

Oh, whatcha gonna do when the floor caves in
And everything turns as ugly as sin?
You'll be all right, you'll be all right

Whatcha gonna do when the bus breaks down
And it's four in the morning in a foreign town?
You'll be all right, you'll be all right

There's a pain in your head, there's a hole in the road
You gotta look at this thing in philosophical mode
And you'll be all right, you'll be all right

When circumstance gets you on your back
You gotta roll, roll, roll over the exit, Jack
And you'll be all right, yeah, you'll be all right

Big questions, big questions
They're bothering you and they're bothering me
And they even bother people at the BBC
Big questions, big questions

Call out the guard!

Wooh!

You'll be all right, you'll be all right (x2)

Whatcha gonna do when the balloon goes up
And the physical world goes all unreliable?
You'll be all right, yeah, you'll be all right

Human life and metaphysical death
Chemistry sets can make an awful lot of mess
But you'll be all right, you'll be all right

Eggs and spuds on a scientist's bench
Channel 4 movie, terrible stench
You'll be all right, you'll be all right

You get all your assumptions upside down
Well welcome home, you're on the wrong side of town
But you'll be all right, you'll be all right

Big questions, big questions
Aristotle, Hume, and old Plato,
You've gotta see those suckers go, go, go
Big questions, big questions

You'll be all right
Chop! Chop! Busy! Busy! Work! Work! Bang! Bang!
You'll be all right, you'll be all right (x2)

Big questions, big questions
Whatcha gonna do when the house falls down
And you feel about as snappy as the late George Brown?
Big questions, big questions

You'll be all right, you'll be all right (x2)

Here's some advice, make an appointment, today

You'll be all right, you'll be all right
Yeah, get your secretary to pick up the phone
And make an appointment today
You'll be all right, you'll be all right

It's a brand new thing, it goes in the fridge
It's a brand new thing and it goes like this

You'll be all right, you'll be all right
Yeah, and you'll be all right (repeat to fade)