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The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy : Mailing List : 1991
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Date: Wed, 15 May 91 16:30:26 CDT
From: beaulieu[at]-remove-chsun1.uchicago.edu (Falls on Floor)
Subject: The Scary Powers of "BOB"

Dear Abby,

I am a healthy, attractive 35 year old housewife. Until about two weeks ago
my life was happy and normal. Now, frankly, it is a living hell. I can't sleet
(that's sleep), I can't eat, and I can barely function in my day-to-day duties.

The problem started when I was looking through my son Biff's desk. I found all
these computer printouts about something called the JBC. In one of those print-
outs was a listing of JBC songs, and two of these songs (City of Night and It
Has to Be You) are listed as being on the Glass Compilation "5000 Glass Fans
Can't Be Wrong". Now I distinctly remember a Jazz Butcher cover of the Johnath-
an Richman song "Affection" being on that album. I told my husband about it,
and he said that, no, the Jazz Butcher never covered that song. I insisted that
I was right, but he continued to argue with me. Finally, I got so flustered
with him that I stabbed him through the back of his skull with one of those
wonder-ful Ginsu Knives that my Aunt Flo got me for our wedding. (Incidentally,
I really could slice a tomato razor thin afterwards.)

So Abby, could you please tell me 1) Did the Jazz Butcher really cover "Affec-
tion, and if so where I can find it, and 2) can you reccomend a good lawyer
who specializes in the Prozac defense I have read so much about?


Puzzled in Provo